Never Meant To Last

Get To Living My Life

Sat, 09 May 2009 01:18:43 GMT

I'm so excited that I finally got a review.

Yes. One.
Peace
Cam

Make Your Reservation

Fri, 01 May 2009 00:56:02 GMT

Wow.

So, my first final was decent, I guess. I don't know about it. I'm hoping I just got average, at least.

Physics, on the other hand. Holy crap, y'all. The test didn't officially start until thirty minutes after it was supposed to, because they put like...seven classes in the same room. And everybody can't fit in there. So we ended up wandering around for like...twenty minutes. It was ridiculous. And, as a result, I really have no idea what up with my test. I was freaking out in the beginning. But when I went over it again, I felt okay. But, y'know, that really never means anything with Physics. Just let me pass, dang it.

Tomorrow I have a chat and turn in my paper. And I have a Calculus final on Monday. And tomorrow I need to go talk to the stupid people in the music department. Why should I have to pay when it's your stuff in my locker? I mean, I can throw it away if you want, but I'm not generally in the habit of throwing away things that don't belong to me. Maybe you are. Sorry. I wasn't raised that way.

Also, while I'm being irritable, I don't understand, at all, why no one has reviewed. I mean, 340 views, 4 alerts, and 2 favorites lists, but no reviews. This might just be me, but I think it's weird when you see stories on someone's favorites list that don't have any reviews. Maybe I'm weird. Sorry.

I don't think I will ever see the word 'Jamaica' again without thinking 'Jamaican me crazy.' Geeze.

I'm gonna take a shower, and, maybe, be crazy and watch a movie. Or write a story. I don't know. Something like that.

BEDA was lovely, y'all. Maybe I'll do it again next year. :)
Peace
Cam

I Want To Come TooF

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:27:44 GMT

"To me there will always be nine. I was always fond of Pluto."

For serious, man. :)

I really, really, really hate the people that work in the music department. And I really, really, really don't want to take my exams tomorrow. But they're the hardest ones, so when they're over, I should be alright. Yeah?

And I'm also irritated that people don't review, of course. There are four people who've put my story on their alert list, but they don't say anything. What up with that?

I still love the opening credits of the Tudors. Never seen an episode, but the dialogue is brilliant. Fo'sho.

Why is my physics test in a different room again?

I hate exams.

And I am not excited.
Peace
Cam

Down To The Bone She's Country

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:09:31 GMT

It's really sad that my BEDA is coming to end with shorter and shorter entries.

But it's difficult to have something to talk about when you don't really do anything.

I'll summarize my day: I rewrote my FF.Net profile, I edited my paper (which is probably gonna be the final of it, just 'cause I can't be bothered with it. It's annoying as crap), I might possibly have made a background (maybe). That's about it.

Pretty much I'm just annoyed that people don't review. Gosh.

"Cheese it's good!"
Peace
Cam

I'm What I Am And Not What I'm Not

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 02:23:19 GMT

It's difficult to write a summary when you really have no idea where the story's going at the moment.

So, yeah, I might actually post something to FF.Net. Shocking! I just want a response, I guess. And it'll probably x-post itself to switchingfoot along with the rest of the world....

I can't believe April's almost over, 'cause...wow, blogging everyday really isn't as hard as you might think. Even if it is just a random line or two. Because sometimes, that's really just the mood you're in, isn't it?

Some days you have a lot to say, and others, you don't.
Peace
Cam

Polishing You Til You Shine

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 01:25:43 GMT

I'll have more time to not be distractedly typing things tomorrow.

I did come up with a story idea today, though.

And that's exciting.
Peace
Cam

Maybe It's Time To Be Living The Rhyme

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 02:01:15 GMT

Seth Myers is absolutely adorable. :)

I never would've thought that Journey to the Center of the Earth would actually be a decent movie. But it happens, yeah? The beginning's actually highly amusing.

So. My exams don't start 'til Thursday and they end on Monday. I wish they were sooner, even though I need to study. I just know that I won't study as soon as I can or anything. 'Cause I'm awful like that. Procrastination, yo. But, I mean, mainly I guess I just really need to work on the paper, since that is basically my final. It happens.

Um. I guess I have a lot of time to watch Robin Hood and Gossip Girl and Merlin and such, though, which is a good thing. Because I need to catch myself up on that stuff. Not that I'm ever "caught up." 'Cause, as far as I know, the only show that I'm really up with is One Tree Hill. Because I actually watch new episodes of that.

There are a lot of songs that I need to download. But I always forget later, so: Cupid Shuffle, Whatever It Is, Wonderwall, various Kenny stuff, and whatever that song is.

Okay. Whatever.
Peace
Cam

Since We're Here Anyway

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 01:08:52 GMT

I don't even want to say anything.

"The candy shop's closed until after graduation."
Peace
Cam

Born And Raised In South Detroit

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 02:19:43 GMT

I'm kinda upset that this last Calculus is totally ruining my 100 streak. But I can't get it, and I kind of don't want to get it, and I won't have time to do it tomorrow. So.

Ugh.
Peace
Cam

God Is Great, Beer Is Good, And People Are Crazy

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:12:35 GMT

Okay, so, Calculus homework A is complete. Calculus homework B...is a 40 something. I know. I'm just that awesome.

I decided fun new things today about my potential OC for my NY story. So. Fo'shiz on that. And...maybe, maybe, Lizzie from the last story I wrote might keep going a little bit. My only problem with her, let's be honest, is that I totally don't know anything about cars. And she's a freaking mechanic. Makes things kinda sorta a little difficult. I am writing about things I know a little bit more about, though, these days, I think. Or maybe not. I might just be making that up. Who knows.

Also. The story I'm reading write now has some slightly difficult language, not that I blame the author or anything, because she's foreign, but whoa...totally throwing me off every now and then. Like when someone TYPES EVERYTHING IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

And you're just all STOP YELLING AT ME.

Yeah. Like that.

Um. Otherwise, what happened today? I didn't really do anything today. I mean...I only had two classes. Um. I turned in my instrument [score one.] and we looked up math jokes. Some of them are pretty good. I kinda really like the:

(1/n)*sinx
(1/n*sinx
1*six=6

And the one about ln being at a party and noticing e^x in the corner, and throwing out the 'you just need to integrate yourself into the crowd.' one. [it won't help!]

Math pickup lines are kind of the best, though, let's be honest.

Can I just point out that the animation of Yahoo's logo today is kinda weird. The girl hugging the earth? Yeah.

I haven't been on youtube in a long time. I'm gonna be so behind.
Peace
Cam

I Won't Be Satisfied

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:56:35 GMT

Ugh. So I wrote my paper and I think it's terrible and it's a little on the short side and so that sucks.

But the good news is, I wrote my program. And it works. That's thrilling.

The extended crappy news, though, happens to be that I still have Calculus. I did, however, manage to get half the points on one of those assignments. So. There's that.

I still have eight classes and four exams before the semester's over [which, by extension, means ridiculous amounts of being bored and studying, but not really studying, because I don't really know how to...]. Not that I'm counting or anything.

Today. Pretty much nothing happened. Um. I actually liked my English class. A little bit. Calculus was amusing, but it's always amusing. I don't really feel like I'm learning whatever I'm supposed to be learning just at the moment, but, y'know, there you go. And, surprisingly, ECE went by a lot quicker than expected. So. Woo.

Um. I got back my test grades for Physics and Calculus. Y'know. I got a B on the first and an A on the next. Although, disappointingly, I was stupid and totally could've gotten another point on my Calc test. I didn't add a +C onto the end of a solution to an integral. Bah. I promise I remember that more often when I'm actually working with integrals and not series. And my other mistake was stupid, too. I mean, really, who doesn't carry a negative through parenthesis? Although, nothing can get much worse than that one test where I said that if you square a negative number you still get a negative number. Geeze.

Anyway. After my classes, I watched CSI:NY. And while I was doing that I wrote my program, which I was extremely frustrated with [because it kept giving me stars, and I didn't want stars because there weren't supposed to be stars, and really it was just because I was dumb and didn't check whether there were supposed to be stars or not...], but I figured it out in the end. My computer also started lagging while I was working on that. And my freaking Simulator still really sucks, because it still loves to randomly close whenever it feels like it.

I have to say, the best messed up run through of my program, was definitely the fact that it output 'abcd' when I wanted it to output '1234'. I mean, really?

It's disappointing when you look at your e-mail just to find junk mail. Just a fact, y'know.

One day, I should probably just start writing, so that I don't have to think of how every possible character and scenario doesn't seem likely and would ultimately be awkward and blah blah blah.
Peace
Cam

Daddy's Sweet Money Done Jacked It Up

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:04:39 GMT

I don't understand why my simulator randomly closes when I try to load the programs after I've reinitialized it. I mean, what gives?

My program's going a lot better than my English paper, though, I'll tell you that. I did my last Physics homework today. So that's exciting. Now all I've got left before exams is the aforementioned English paper and program, and some good old Calculus. But, really, my paper really sucks. I just like...don't have the same vibe. Because it's mostly an opinion thing. I mean, I can present all the information out there that relates to it, but I sort of have to just give my opinion with it and let it roll.

I think my brain is done with writing academically. [FICTION HERE I COME.]

Today, me and Navage almost completed a whole crossword. It was amazing. Until we got to the last like...10 or so and we couldn't get them. Then it sucked. But, really, getting a crossword done makes you feel so accomplished. I got one of the Sudoku's done, too, but I didn't have time for the other one, because I was half paying attention to what we were doing.

I think my hand looks weird right at this exact moment.

Um...I should really stop watching TV and do my homework. Although, surprisingly, I can totally program and watch TV at the same time. I'm feeling really accomplished in that area. Maybe I am destined to be doing that, because whatever my job is, I'm gonna need to be able to watch TV while I'm doing it.

"If I had lost all my fingers in the war, I could count on my hands how many times I've looked back at my notes when you've written paragraphs like that."
Peace
Cam

Only One Way Down

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 02:53:17 GMT

Ugh. I really, really, really don't want to have to write my paper. Or write my program. Or...do my Calculus. All of which are due Thursday-Friday. And I've got Physics and another bit of Calculus do this week. Blah. But, I mean, at least I only have to make it through this week and then exams and then I'm done with the semester. [Granted, I have to go back in a coupla weeks after that, but we won't talk about that.]

I'm thinkin' of writing a full length story. Gosh. That's an awful thing for me to say. Really. Last one of those I was gonna do only got to what...Chapter Six? And that was on here. I mean, in theory it still exists. And my other one's on HPFF. And it's only got three chapters. Snap. I suck at that, huh? But, um, if I actually write this one, I think there might be a little bit of a possibility of it making it...at least further than the others. Because it would just be a playful, random first person thing. Boy crazy and heavily nerdy, and it doesn't get much better/easier than that.

Although, that would mean I'd be getting on FF.Net again for realz...:O

I just want to point out, and it's probably not a logical thought or anything because I really don't know anything about it, I just watch the kid in front of me playing it during ECE [which would totally explain my concentration issues], but I totally don't get World of Warcraft. I mean, I guess there's an actual point to it. All I've ever seen of it, though, is just fighting people. And that's it. And that's really not exciting at all. Kinda why Pokemon never got finished, I guess...

That really had nothing to do with anything.

Geeze. I kinda fail. Period.
Peace
Cam

I Need A Fix Cause I'm Going Down

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:28:54 GMT

Oh, Yahoo. Colorado comes before Connecticut. Y'know, the alphabet? l m n. Connecticut's definitely second.

Chelsea Lately seems like a weird show. But, then, I've only seen like five minutes of it. So. Yeah. There's that.

Tomorrow, I need to write my paper and work on my program and possibly look at Calculus and do my post lab if I don't get it done tonight (although, really, it's three questions, so [but at the same time, it's kind of doubtful that I'll actually get full points]). Bah.

Um. Today I went to a football game. Played a little Mello, y'know that jazz. I am insanely tired. And I was completely tired after that. And that was like...eight hours ago, and I haven't slept or anything, so I'm still really tired. Obviously.

I wanna start checking out the Office, a little bit. Because we had to watch that one episode in English and it was rather amusing, yes. But, you know, it'll just be another thing that I'm not on the up and up with. That I wouldn't actually keep up with. Like CSI: NY. I pretty much just have the list of things I stay up with, which is basically OTH and ANTM and I think that's it.

I'm not sure how my test on Friday went, and I'm still not sure how my Physics test [it probably wasn't good], but I felt alright about it. Eh.

It's incredibly easy to type on my keyboard right now. And that's weird. But, yeah. I feel like I should really get on it and be like...excited about my homework [this is weird, I know], but I just can't do it when I'm actually sitting down to do it. It's like writing. How I have a great idea but I can't actually write it as soon as I sit down at the computer with the browser window open.

My computer's being weird. I'm not sure if there was actually a paragraph after the last one that just got erased or not. I can't remember. Guess that tells you how deeply I feel about what I'm writing right now.

Cowboys are the best.
Peace
Cam

I'm Still Not Sure What Gone Is All About

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 02:57:32 GMT

Flacts - Facts about Flack. I'm excited about new terms. Fo'sho.

Uh. But I still don't have anything to say. I'm just...actually, I can't think of anything, really, because I'm totally distracted when I'm watching stuff.

Bah.
Peace
Cam

I Lean Back, Breathe Deep, And Cry

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 03:13:33 GMT

I actually had plenty to say today, but, naturally, I don't have the time to do it. Really. Because I have to go to sleep because I have a test tomorrow that I didn't really even get to study for because I had to read an insanely long random study about Barbie dolls for English. That's stupid.

"Hover car? More like Hover crap."
Peace
Cam

And Drown Me In Love

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 02:59:16 GMT

So, there's this incredibly annoying ringing noise in my room. But the weird thing is there are exact certain spots that you can hold your head and not hear it. Huh.

Today, my computer went crazy and didn't work. And I drove around a parking lot for a pretty good, solid five minutes (but I did end up with a pretty awesome parking spot).

So, it's weird that I don't feel like I can write any NY characters excepting Danny and Lindsay. And I'm not even certain of Danny. But, I mean, there's something about Flack that I just can't put into words, and Mac's character is like...so beyond anything I can really attempt to word.

And, for the record, calling someone an avid smoker is probably not the best way to term it. Y'know. You used avid with words like golfer and runner and those sorts of things. An, uh, smoker doesn't really fit in the same category. Fyi.

;)

Uh, aside from my fandom life, RL kinda sucks right now. Because I have a test on Friday (and I haven't actually learned the material), and homework due tomorrow and Friday that I don't really know how to do. I'm not particularly worried about what's due tomorrow, but the test and Friday's homework...y'know, a little more importante.

I need to sleep, now, though, because, fo'sho, I was tired this morning.
Peace
Cam

Don't Want To Fly If You're Still On The Ground

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 02:57:40 GMT

Really, Yahoo News? Really? Judging marriage success on the basis of whether you smiled in your yearbook photos? Really? How many people do you know that were truly smiling in their yearbook photos? ...Really?

Geeze, I feel like I haven't done anything at all this week. But I have. It's weird. I mean, I still have a fair amount of work to do before the week's over (not including the things I have to do this weekend), but it feels like I've done a lot. I think I also have a problem when it comes to work and scheduling and stuff. It's like...I only get a break for a little bit of the day on Saturday and (generally) Friday nights. Because I split all my work into weeks, and as soon as one week ends, another one's coming. So there's no down time. No not work time. Y'know?

Fanfic world. There's a lot I want to write. I doubt most of it'll ever get out of my head. But, I mean, it's there [ie Rivington, Six...]. Mostly, lately, I just get frustrated. Because there are somethings that I can never seem to get across with words. No matter how much I try. Which is why I've written two random things about Lifehouse's "First Time" and I still don't think I've got that...emotion right.

I kind of like the fact that FF.Net has character names under the stories now. Mostly they just make me laugh on occasion. I mean, Guy G. for Guy of Gisbourne is pretty amusing. And, I'm totally digging the fact that random characters have their whole last names and others have their first. Mostly Don F. and J. Angell. Because, I don't know [I'm not really on the...up and up with the actual timeline of the season...I'm still wasting away in season three-four], they're both sort of big [in the way of relationships] on the show right now? Seems like, oh, I don't know, maybe she has a first name now? Especially because most people just call Snarky over there, Flack. So, yeah, that's...kinda weird.

Um. Today I saw Fergie's London Bridge video before I left for class. That made me happy. Because..."Oh Snap" being said repeatedly...yeah, you know.

I don't really want to go to lab. I have that...'it's not really happening' thing going on. Like...I feel like I won't actually go tomorrow, and it won't really be a reality until like...halfway through the lab. Yeah, I don't know, it's another weird problem I have.

This is strange, huh? Now I've only got like...super long paragraphs. What up, man?
Peace
Cam

Took My Buffalo To The Store

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 02:25:24 GMT

"I could talk about heroes for days on end," she looked up at the man standing his guard at the front of the door. He was barring the way of people she knew, people who were trying to rescue her and the people sitting next to her. And she was scared, but she had to do something, because a standstill wasn't ever going to get anyone anywhere, and this man would certainly never be the hero he was hoping to be. "Would you like to know what a hero truly is?"

The man seemed to debate whether or not he should just ignore her, or finish whatever he was trying to do and, by some stroke of luck, make his way past the police cars that were surrounding them. She knew they were there, she could very nearly feel their presence. She'd been around them too much in the past, in the present. And she could certainly say that she planned very much on being around them in the future.

"A hero is someone who gets other people killed," she was kind of rambling, running her mouth on instinct alone, and the need to say something, anything to try to distract him, to buy her more time, to buy the people outside more time. Time was her most precious commodity, and, if she could capture it somehow, control it, make it go at her tempo, she'd have the situation completely in hand. She'd be capable. Something she always needed.

"And, maybe you haven't noticed, but most heroes are dead." She gave the man roving glance, trying to size him up, "So, our question would be, who wants you to die, while you're pretending to be a hero?"

Maybe, evidently, this wasn't entirely the correct direction to go. And she mentally thanked the heavens about for an police force who had no time for patience. If he hadn't been distracted by the doorway shuddering, he probably would have done something-something she'd rather not put a name to, rather not think about, because the option, the possibility was still looming, a presence that couldn't go unnoticed.

It was funny, but she hadn't realized how afraid she was that she would never see him again, never get to be in his arms, never get to listen to the steady, rhythmic beating of his heart beneath her ear, until she heard his voice. She wanted them to stay out of it, to talk her way out of this somehow, but hearing his voice made her realized that what she really wanted was him. What she really wanted was to feel his arms around her and have his scent surround her and breath it in and never have to wake without finding him next to her.

Now that she'd heard his voice, she was afraid of her time. Afraid it would be over for one of them before they saw each other again. Hearing a person was not the same as feeling, and her body seemed to shudder as it let itself give into her worry, her fear. Her fear for him and losing him and him losing her.

She didn't notice much, just his face appearing in the doorway, raised voice, arguments in the background. A dead silence following as a stare down. But she did clearly notice the look of longing, of worry, of fear in his eyes. He couldn't hold her like she wanted, like he wanted, not when the situation was like this. She needed it, though, needed to feel his arms holding her to him, needed to feel her body pressed against his and know that they were both alive and well and one with each other.

"I don't know whose hero you're trying to be," she murmured, lowly, trying to keep her tremble, her fear, from her voice, "But it's not worth dying for. And I think you and I both know that."

That I'm posting because I don't want to delete it. Bah. You know how I am, right? That I write something to get one specific word, phrase, line, description on paper, and the rest of the story builds around it (and sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't). I didn't even get the single phrase and image I wanted to convey out of this. That's how...bad I am at time management, I guess.

If you're curious, the image I was looking for was her actually being able to be in his arms, and the words "I've got you." being stated repeatedly. It might be/have been a bit of random Flack nonsense (because I'm good at nonsense). Whatever.

Who wants to fail a Physics test?

Actually, I really don't want to. But it's entirely possible. Ugh. I really despise the fact that they put all the tests in the same week. Physics and Calculus, and homework in my ECE class, which rarely has homework. I guess is normal, though, 'cause no matter where you are, people always throw everything at you at once.

But I have good news. Wednesday's my last lab, and my PSs are over (unless I really need help...).

So. There's that.

Woo.

Okay. I'm gonna read fanfic. Because that's what I do.
Peace
Cam

This Ain't Nothing To Die For

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 02:45:47 GMT

Does anyone know how to delete tags? Is it even possible?

Probably not, because that'd be just my luck. I can't do my homework. So. That sucks. And I have a test on Tuesday, which also sucks, because my last test in that class was...uhm...made of fail, let's say. And, yeah, it doesn't help that I really just feel like writing.

Matter of fact, I'm totally writing while I'm doing things. Anything. I'm always sitting there in my free time composing something completely wonderful in my head [although, generally, admittedly, still not quite 100 percent developed], but I don't ever seem to get it to paper [to screen?].

I have a starting place for a fic. But, see, now I'm to the point where I can't really even start it because I need to sleep. My internal clock wakes me up at fairly decent hours in the morning, usually. But it hasn't been for a month or so, and suddenly it started again this weekend. So, that was weird, and now I'm tired again.

Okay. So, coolest piece of chocolate ever. I got a piece of chocolate shaped and colored like a rubber duck. Is that not freaking awesome? I would just...y'know, not eat it and add it to my collection, but...it's chocolate, and...after awhile it would just get gross. So, yeah. Although, let's be honest, I have so much chocolate right now it's not even funny. Maybe I should just start eating that instead of real food [I mean, really, Kisses, M&Ms, chocolate bunny, chocolate duck, mints, Rolos...]. It's kind of crazy.

I find it fascinating that I just constructed a fairly lengthy paragraph (compared to my normal standards) about chocolate. A paragraph that will undoubtedly be the longest in this entry.

It's so much fun to just type things that don't have anything to do with anything. You should try it sometime.
Peace
Cam

They're Trying To Tell Me How To Feel

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 03:25:13 GMT

So, I think maybe if I started posting things before...oh, I don't know eleven at night I'd actually being doing a lot better at this whole thing.

I'm kind of irritated right now, though, 'cause it's hot, but then if I uncover myself it's cold. And it's just. Blah.

I made a...blah background of Carmine today [because he is love and that's all you really need to know], and I wrote a story which I just posted to switchingfoot. And, yeah.

I promise to make something more informative in the days to come. I just...well, people are trying to sleep.
Peace
Cam

Don't Think I Can Take It All In

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 23:51:43 GMT

Ugh. I still don't have anything to say and that's just...upsetting?

I'm gonna get a new background soon, though. I mean, I've had this one since like...February. So, yeah. And I might write something new soon. So, there's that. But, then, I'm always planning on writing something new, but it never gets done.

Homework and tests are still looming, though, aren't they? Bah.
Peace
Cam

Let's Go Back and Find

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 04:09:43 GMT

Oh snap.

Technically, I just missed April 9th.

Aw.
Peace
Cam

In A Way They Were The Better Days

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 03:17:04 GMT

I want to fic. I want to ficmix. Which I've never done before, so that's fascinating. ;)

I've got half of what program two wants me to do. I just can't figure out the last bit. Which sucks. Let's be honest.

Mmkay. Scratch that. I'm feeling pretty awesome that I figured it out. Programs are just like puzzles waiting to be solved. And it's awesome when you solve it. But, then, sometimes I feel that way about calculus problems, too.

Now, I just have to survive my PS tomorrow. And then it's Good Friday off, and Easter weekend with the family! :)

Today, I had a conversation about the fact that there is always a relationship in a show. And they just have to have them. I don't know why. It's just like...I don't know, people need to see that the characters actually have romantic issues in the way that they do so that they can relate to them or something? I don't think that really made sense. So, y'know, whatever.

And when we were doing the crossword today (which we sort of failed miserably at), we got off on a lot of tangents. I think, overall, this just reinforces the fact that I have focus issues. And that I'm random. Yeah. I mean, I even have focus issues writing entries. Because, I'll have a glance at something else while I'm thinking of what to say next and then I'm totally lost. Or I'll read over what I've already written and want to go back to the previous topic which would just make my entries illogical or strangely written [but maybe they're always strangely written, I don't know].

I did talk about how Danny and Flack have facial expressions that are completely made of awesome. :D

And there was a lovely icon of Bill Hader with "Ah! You liked it so you put a ring on it." on my friends list today. That was fantastic. ;)

I do think I'm going to make a fanmix community for my own fanmixes. I just have to look into what to call it. And I'm also thinking of posting things on fanfiction.net again. But I might just wait 'til I write something new. I don't know. I have decided whether to cross post or not.

I just can't believe I remember the password.
Peace
Cam

They Offered Mr. Lincoln Up Savannah As A Prize

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 03:23:45 GMT

I wrote the first half of my program. Rejoice! :)

So, I'm excited that I don't have to get up early tomorrow. No lab this week. So that's fun. ;) Today, I went crazy, as I always do when I walk into a row of TV series DVDs, and now own Gossip Girl Season One and CSI: New York Season Four.

You know that weird feeling you get when you find a new fandom? Like you're rushing into some deep, complicated relationship. Like you'd rather waste your time on thoughts of what could happen or what did happen or what is happening. I don't really know where I'm going with this, actually. By the way. It's just. Uh. It's weird. Crazy, even.

I mean, so, anyway, I have this great random little scene with Flack and trouble and randomness that I won't ever even get written because it belongs in the middle of something more complicated and worth effort. I mean, if it ever does it'll probably end up as a one shot thing that doesn't really make any sense to anyone. But that's what a fair amount of my writing is, I guess. Because the reader doesn't know all the random background crap that my mind came up with, and then it's just a 'blah,' I don't know what's going on anymore.

Actually, about my writing, it takes so much longer than it should. I mean, I've been known to spend all day on a 2000 word story. I'm too focused on trying to make it make sense and it never does, so I don't know why I care. Writing is completely exhausting, you know?

It's like. When you finish reading some really amazing book. And you just get that feeling that it was so monumental and that you should focus on it.

And the thing about writing anything in relation to CSI:NY or ER, for that matter, is that I don't have all the technical jargon. And, to be honest, I really don't want to know it. I don't really want to come up with those things. That would be weird of me, I think.

And I'm also completely aware that none of this really makes sense, either.

But, uh, I just read an incredibly long fanfiction.
Peace
Cam